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why is my husband of 15 years a stranger to me now?
I saw a video of 12 yrs ago and realized hes so different. I married the man in the video not the man he is now. We don't talk, I sleep on the couch. He is such a jerk. He is a mechanic and my van blew a head gasket, he would not fix it. he told me because I ran my mom around she could fix it! My mom is 65 with bad knees who is raising my 13 year old niece and doesn't have her license or a car. I would take her to the Dr's or the store, pick my niece up from school just little stuff like that. She only lives five minutes away. I had to pay someone else to fix it. I just had my shoulder replaced after 5 shoulder surgery's and he gave me no support, financial or physical. Ive tried to talk Ive threatened divorce. I cant afford to live on my own or I would be gone.I just want peace for my children and I until we can move, but how do you co-inside with someone so selfish?
Public Comments
- It would be interesting to hear his interpretation.
- honestly he needs counselling..........
- Theres always two sides to each story, I bet you arent the same gal he married, and you quit giving him his DUE. You sleep on the couch and probably have gained weight. Im just saying that there are always two sides to the story.
- I would have to bet you both let yourselves grow apart. You have to always be working on your relationship your whole life to make it work. If you stopped so did he or vise versa. You are probably strangers now thats why he seems like one. You should try doing something nice for him and talk to him get to know him again. Maybe hes hostile toward you for a reason? Maybe some things haven't been cleared up or taken care of that should have? Talk to him it's the best thing you can do if you dont wanna be strangers to the man living in your home.
- sit down and talk ....thats the best way
- My husband and I have been married almost the same amount of time and have been experiencing a lot of similar things it sounds like your husband and you are. One of the other people who answered, is correct. It is a constant daily job that has to be worked at. My husband and I have our daily struggles and I wouldn't say we are over the hump of negativity. Its gonna take a lot of work and time. I don't know if you are a reader but I would like to recommend a few books to you. They are not fix alls and I am not saying they have all the answers, but they do break things down and help make things more understandable. I will tell you they are 'Christian' books but I personally am more secular than that and that IS NOT their main focus. The first is "For Women Only"by Shaunti Feldhaund. It is actually the results of a study done about how men think. It has some really great insight and helps a lot toward understanding . There is one for men called "For Men Only" too, but you would have to really know where your husband is at to get him to read it. Its been 8 months almost to the date, since my husband started reading it.He still hasn't finished it. But it is a great read if you want to read it and see if it is something you would like him to know about the way women think too. Might help express your feelings in ways he can 'hear' as well. The other is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Another good book for insight and understanding especially about why this happens in a relationship. And some suggestions on how to start to figure out how to improve things. I think all the books have some information that well, ...make ya go hmmm... Even if your husband isn't at a place to hear you or open up the communication to want to start recreating what you use to have or maybe even something better....knowledge is power and at least you'll have that. And maybe, since you are the only person you can change, it will change your way of thinking for the better for your future. And maybe that will show and ring a bell inside of him... Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and hope this helps you. I really do. My heart goes out to you both, Kiarah
